. >> jon: that is our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00, the great pta will be joining us. here it is, your moment of zen. >> only pawn in game of life. captioning sponsored by comedy central >> stephen: tonight, our educational problems have new answers which we copied off the chinese kid in front of us. ( laughter ) them our nation's highways are in trouble. someone must have told them they were adopted. ( laughter ). plus my guest naomi wolf has a new book called "vagina." now i'm no english major but i detect a subtle sexual subtex. ( laughter ). the new york aquarium has a new baby walrus-- great, another brooklyn hipster with a ridiculous mustache. ( laughter ). this is the "colbert report." ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen. >> stephen: awfully nice. thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to the report, good to have you with us. ( cheers and applause ) ladies and gentlemen, it is kind of that time of year to ask the question is this not-- ( cheers and applause ) , please,